To be honest some days I question this decision. On the days where I’m exhausted after working and then I have to come home, pick up the kids, make dinner, put them to bed, clean up and then roll into bed before I start the day over again, I think to myself there has to be another way. And there is, I could be a stay-at-home mom but truthfully, I am not cut out for that role. I LOVE my kids with every fibre of my being, but if I had to be home with them 24/7, I think I’d lose my mind. People look at stay at homes like they don’t have a job but honestly, they have one of the toughest jobs out there. They have the most demanding and ruthless coworkers who never give them a break and show no mercy. They’re chauffeurs, chefs, maids, referees, accountants, and assistants just to name a few of their roles, and they do all that for no pay. It’s mentally and physically exhausting and I commend the men and women who stay home – but it just wasn’t for me.

Some days are tough – like the days I have to miss field trips because I have a big presentation. Or the days that my daughters don’t want to go to before and after school care because they want more mom time. Or the days I must drop my son off and he starts crying and reaching for Mama; but most days I get to say bye to my kiddos, miss them all day and then get really excited when I see them when we all get home. So, although I basically only make peanuts after I factor in daycare, transportation costs, costs of takeout because I’m too tired to cook etc, I know that I’m making the best decision for myself and my family and in the end that’s priceless.

Here are some things I did to make life as a working outside the home mom easier.

1. Found a job that I love. And oh my gosh do I love it. I get to work with awesome people, I’m faced with new challenges every day, I get to plan all sorts of different events and I’m honestly happy 99% of the time. I also found a job with a great employer that offers lots of flexibility and great benefits which is key since my husband doesn’t get any benefits through his job.
2. Found a great village. Between my husband, my family, and my friends I’ve found an incredible village that helps makes the chaos manageable. Whether it’s family lending a helping hand with watching the kids or friends being sounding boards when I need to vent – I’m so lucky to have the support that I do. A special shout out to my husband for being AMAZING and always very supportive when it comes to my dreams, my health, and the kids. Couldn’t do it without such a wonderful partner.
3. Plan, plan and plan some more. My husband and I use the Cozi app to coordinate all 5 of our lives. Anything that we have going on goes into the calendar which makes our lives slightly less chaotic. This app has been truly life saving for our family and I don’t know what we’d do without it.
4. Budget. I wasn’t lying when I told you that most of my salary goes towards childcare so we have to be smart with our money so that we’re not as stressed as we could be. Honestly with going back to work and a few visits from Murphy we haven’t been great with money but that all changes this year! We’re excited to be debt free again and are working towards financial freedom!
5. Making time for ourselves. Life. Is. Exhausting! Between kids, work, friends, and family it can be extremely overwhelming and it’s no wonder that so many people are experiencing burnout. Something that we’ve done for years is to give each other one night off a week to do whatever we want and honestly, it’s the best thing we could have done for each other. It gives each of us the chance to reset and gives us the grace needed to deal with all the chaos for the rest of the week. On my nights off I like to do things like go to Orange Theory fitness, spend time with my mom, go shopping, hang out with friends, or just stay at home and craft. Sometimes I’ll even just lock myself in my room and read in the bath and it’s glorious.
   It’s very easy to lose yourself after having kids, but you have to work hard to find joy for yourself.
6. Make the time you do get with your kids’ top priority. We have a rule in our house that we can’t look at our phones until the kids are in bed. That way they get our full attention and the little time we do spend together during the week becomes priceless. We talk during family dinner, do bath time, read books together or even snuggle up on the couch and watch some tv as a family. This time is definitely quality over quantity, and we work hard to make the most of it. On weekends we also try and find activities to do together as a family because I’m hoping that when our kids look back on their childhood, they remember it as magical – even with me working during the week!

So there it is, being a working outside the home mom isn’t easy – but it also brings me a lot of joy and I choose to look at it in a positive light. I love my babies, but I also like showing them strong women in the workplace so that they know that they can do anything they want when they’re older. As long as they always stay close to Mama or bring her along 😊

Love,

T